Archive for the ‘words are swords’ Category

Carrot steak anyone?

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

During World War II, the Government had authority to take possession of any meat product or livestock to feed the starving country. But the dons of Magdalen College at the time weren’t about to let a little thing like that interfere with the fine-breeding of their deer living happily in their Deer Park.

So what did they do? Got in contact with their friends in high places and (in 1939 apparently) had them reclassified as vegetables.

“Odd-ford?”, The Oxford Student, 56(6):19, 27 May 2010.


Two takes on a sandwich

Monday, April 26th, 2010

At Barajas Airport, Spain, the lady at the till frowns and asks “That sandwich’s all you are having, right?”.

At Luton Airport, England, the guy at the till asks “How can I help you?” and smiles when you approach him with a sandwich.


Not so French

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

Café Rouge in Oxford presents itself as a French restaurant with a “Prix Fixe” menu. In the mains section we find:

  • Saucisses de Porc with herb mash and thyme jus
  • Beignets de Cabillaud (Deep fried cod goujons served with French fries and remoulade sauce)

That is, bangers and mash, and fish and chips. One cannot get more British pub food than that.


I really really wish

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Religion is much easier to understand if you replace ‘I believe’ by ‘I really really wish’.


Goldsmith on Descartes

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

Intellectual snobs without a social site profile, blog or homepage, beware:

If it doesn’t exist on the Internet, it doesn’t exist, therefore you don’t think.

(Goldsmith on Descartes.)


Servicio de Orientación y Planificación Profesional

Monday, February 15th, 2010

Si tu trabajo no te llena, hazte cocinero.


Arrob@ poétic@

Sunday, February 14th, 2010


mare@ de



Fake antithesis

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

Building on yesterday’s post, what about the following figure?

The supporting actor let me down

There’s an antithesis on the figurative plane (’supportive’, ‘let down’), but not on the thematic plane (disappointing actor).

Thus, there’s also an antithesis of sorts between the two planes, and a certain symmetry to the figure.


Nueva figura lógica

Friday, February 5th, 2010

Para completar el oxímoron, cohabitación, paradoja y antítesis, necesitamos una figura de falsa antítesis, esto es, dos conceptos que fintan un choque, pero en el último momento se apartan. Por ejemplo:

El actor de reparto acaparó todos los premios.



Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

Although the diagnosis wasn’t obvious for a long time, it seems that insomnia was what kept me from finding the woman of my dreams.